yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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