She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
