At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
