We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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