me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.