I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Enjoy the penises