took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
