Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
