i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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