so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
