Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
someone owes me an orgasm
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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