I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize