you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
