shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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