Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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