I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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