There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
