Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
