And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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