Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
