i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
