I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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