they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
