your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
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Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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