i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
