am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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