So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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