They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
