if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
