Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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