What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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