He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
