I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
