hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
