That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she smelled like a LAN party
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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