I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
