omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
