TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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