I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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