from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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