Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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