super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
