I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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