Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Randomize
