Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
