He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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