And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
