I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
