This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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