I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
