You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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