best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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