I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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