3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
ttyl tear gas
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize