Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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