This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
