Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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