Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
