Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
