So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
