The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
