The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
babies were throwing up all over the place
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
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