goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
