There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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