the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
