I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize