Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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