Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
