It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
