it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
